I realize it is August... not quite the time to be discussing mistletoe. But I have a reminder list with blog posts that I want to write. I have been having one of those months where I check off lots and lots on my to-do list. The nice thing about iPhones is that it keeps track of how many items you have completed from your list. I admit that sometimes I add things on the list that I don't really need a reminder for. But I like upping my completed total. Hey, some people play video games for points... I make lists.
So let's rewind. I started my new job on November 14th. A few days later, Melissa and I were discussing what she should give to her new neighbors and ward friends. I was thinking it would be fun to give something to all of my new co-workers so they would think I was super nice. We talked about how fun it is that our friend, Sister Dew in our home ward, always gives out mistletoe. It's fun because she ties it up in a cute little red bow and delivers it early in the month so that it can be a fun decoration. I have always loved it and I put it up somewhere noticeable in my house. (Although one year I had a special crush and I put it on the front door so that maybe he would notice it when he was dropping me off at my house. Unfortunately no luck with that one.)
So we decided that 2011 was the year when we would give out mistletoe and it could be a tradition. Melissa found a great site that would deliver a box to her house. Her and Aaron got all of the mistletoe, cut into cute little branches and tied little red bows on it. She bought the perfect sized little ziploc bags to put them in and boom! they looked super legit.
Melissa and I live about an hour away from each other so I usually only go to see her family on the weekends. She told me that I better get up to her house quick because my mistletoe would go bad if I waited any longer. The next weekend I was there, I picked up all my mistletoe they had so kindly packaged and got ready to distribute. At the last minute, we decided that the packaging needed a little love so Melissa helped me make little stickers to put on the bags. (She has super cool sticker paper and a circle punch- adorable, right?) We analyzed the text that should go on the sticker for a long time. It needed to be funny, it needed to correlate with Christmas, and it needed to be short. We finally settled on "Merry Kissmas! -Becca."
Doesn't sound too dangerous right?
I get to work on Monday morning and I have 25 bags of mistletoe in a mini cooler at my desk. I wanted to deliver it because I didn't have a ton. I didn't want to just take it to a team meeting because there are 27 developers on the technology team. So this is what I did. I acted like I give mistletoe to everyone I know, every Christmas. Was this true? No. But did it feel right and make the situation less awkward? Yes. Yes, indeed.
This is how most conversations would go...
Me: Hey! Just thought I would bring you some mistletoe for you and your significant other, if you have one. I just always do this every year and even though I am in a new place doesn't mean I shouldn't keep up my Christmas tradition, right?!
Person: Oh ok, uh thanks.
Me: No prob. Merry Christmas!
Now just to give some context here, I had only been employed at this location for 2 weeks at this time. I barely felt comfortable talking to anyone, let alone "visit" them at their desk. I didn't know where anyone sat, so I looked up their names on the company map. After a few really awkward interchanges, I decided to change my strategy. I needed to give the mistletoe away but I didn't have to be so personal.
So I wait until our Monday afternoon meetings when we meet as a whole company. I sit in the back on the right where most of the other developers sit. When the meeting ended people started picking up their chairs to stack in the back. I casually (awkwardly) said, "Hey, so I brought some mistletoe for everyone if you want to come get it at my desk." I look around, lots of awkward smiles, a few laughs, and lots of people not wanting to make eye contact. Great. No one says anything. FAIL.
But I still have all this mistletoe. No one came to my desk to pick it up, so I decided to just give it away to any of my visitors. Whenever someone stopped by I would say, "Oh and don't forget to take some mistletoe for you and your significant other."
This helped. I was down to about 10 when I hit the low point. At this point in my life, only 3 people in the office really knew who I was. One of them was walking down the hall at the same time I was. I saw him right as he was about to turn the corner. I yelled...
Samuel: Yeah, sup Snyder?
Me: I have some mistletoe at my cube if you want to get some later.
Samuel made a really weird/astonished face, pointed to his wedding ring, and walked away.
Wow. I came back to my desk, defeated. What was I thinking?! The new little Mormon girl from Utah was sending out a message that she wanted to kiss everyone in the company. BAD IDEA.
I decided I was done with the mistletoe, at the office at least.
When I brought it home I thought about who I could give it to in my ward. I had only made a couple of friends at this point. I came to the conclusion that given the awkward conversations / experiences that happened at work, I really ought not to involve any single men my age, as they are legitimate potential partners.
When I finally got around to giving it to some lady friends that would not read into it, the mistletoe was really struggling and I had to throw it away. All of the branches had fallen off the main stem and it was just a mess, exhibit a:
As we approach the holiday season, I have a few reminders to you, my readers:
1. Never attempt to give a Christmas gift to a married man
2. Never give someone a gift unless you have known them for at least a month.
3. Never, under any circumstance bring something into the office that says "Merry Kissmas!"
You've been warned!
These photos are from Melissa's blog. She also wrote a post about her mistletoe FAIL.
Posted by Rebecca Snyder at 3:13 PM