6.20.2017

Greg's First Father's Day





  
 



 


 



 


Fair warning. I'm feeling many emotions because it's Monday morning and I've spent the weekend with food poisoning. My extremely patient husband has taken care of me and the baby and now that I'm on the up and up, I'm just feeling really grateful.

Greg isn't one that likes to be in the spotlight. But I'm a classic "oversharer" so he just deals with it. I've tried to reduce my oversharing since he joined the picture and likes to keep a bit of mystery about our lives- but he's married to me so there's still quite a bit of information that gets shared! 

When Greg and I were engaged, we got into an argument about a week before the wedding. It was probably our most heated debate up until that point. We were driving back to his apartment where I was going to drop him off after some wedding errands. Somehow children came up and the fact that he had never changed a diaper. I told him that we'd have to change that before the wedding. My sister's family was traveling to Utah for the wedding, so I told him I'd like him to change my nephew's diaper before we got married. He was confused. I told him I head read and heard horror stories about dads who refused to be part of those more unpleasant parts of parenting. Of course by this point we had talked about kids and a future family together but Greg hadn't spent much time around babies. He's the youngest in his family and he doesn't have any nieces or nephews. Looking back, I think I had a moment of panic before the wedding because I was worried that his lack of exposure to children meant that I hadn't been able to seen him around kids and I worried whether or not he would be an involved dad. In the moment, it seemed like my mind would be at ease if I could just see him change a diaper. 

His response: No, that's ridiculous. I'm not going to make a special trip to Alpine to change his diaper just to prove to you I could do it. 

I took this as him saying he will refuse to change diapers now and in the future. He said if there was a hypothetical situation where we were babysitting Melissa's kids and someone needed a diaper change, he'd be fine to make it happen. But he was upset that I wasn't trusting him and his personality enough to know that he would rise to the occasion when the need actually presented itself. But he didn't want me to TEST him on my nephew. Point taken. It was dramatic that evening, but I wised up and let it go. That conversation was my only "cold feet before the wedding" experience, so I'm glad for that. 

Fast forward to Greg's very first father's day. Well technically that's not true. We knew I was pregnant this time last year so I wished him Happy Father's Day from me and our unborn child. But this year, I can look back at the past 5 months of Lars's life and then the 9 months of pregnancy beforehand and give a much more meaningful, Happy Father's Day. 

Boy am I glad I let the diaper thing go. He has turned out to be the most wonderful dad. We've had some sharp learning curves, both of us. I thought I was an expert on childcare but we both had SO much to learn together. We went to lots of classes, read books, and articles. During the first few weeks of Lars's life, Greg would offer up some info about how to do something. I would say, "Wait how do you know that?" 
"Oh I read it in some articles a few months ago," he'd reply. And my heart would go pitter patter. 

I've already written about how I wouldn't have survived childbirth and recovery without him, but he is also so good at taking care of Lars. The first week of his life, all I did was feed him sometimes but Greg pulled more than his weight on everything else. I'm always nervous to give Lars a bath, Greg confidently does it on his own, complete with lotion, his nightly medicine, and cleaning up the tub. He changes diapers like a champ, knows all the best ways to close them ("Bec, I think you need to pull the sides up better... they are engineered this way to avoid blowouts."), and has mastered the art of diaper creams. He puts Lars to bed every night and can make him giggle like no one else. When I'm with Lars, he always wants to be moving or eating. But he will sit on Greg's lap for 30 minutes at a time, just still and relaxed. Dad has the best swaddle and the most epic spit-up stories. He loves to challenge Lars to hold things or sit up more or reach developmental milestones. He's the one that holds him during his shots because he is the strong one. Although, he's also the one that can handle hearing him cry in his crib when we're trying to sleep train. (Greg: Please can I go help him?, Bec: No, Greg he needs to learn. Greg: But I just really don't like hearing him cry. Bec: I know it's hard, but he has to learn.) Lars sits in the garage while Greg works on motorcycle stuff and I never have to worry when it's just the two of them because Greg knows how to take better care of Lars than anyone else. 

Greg is the glue to our family and the bright spot of both mine and Lar's day. We count down the hours until he comes home and we miss his optimistic and lively presence in our home when he's out of town. When he comes home from work, he can calm both Lars and I down immediately. We both depend so much on his calming presence. He's turned out to be such a good dad and I'm so glad I picked him as my husband and life partner in this journey of parenthood. Happy Father's Day Greg! 
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